3 DAYS DEAD

Taxi's

It still gets on my nerves whenever I have to leave the house. But at least I'm re-experiencing what it's like to be out in the sun.

Every morning is the same routine. I pick up the telephone and request that a taxi pick me up.

People have been asking me why don't I take the bus. No offense but there's too many strange people who ride the transit on any given day. I don't know about you but I don't like the idea of sitting at a bus stop, breathing fumes and fumbling for change or a bus pass.

I don't have the patience to look for the bus route. It's too nerve wrecking. I don't like to share the bus with others, I don't like the idea of the bus continuously stopping to pick up and drop off customers.

A taxi can take me to my destination in half the time as a bus. I don't know if I want to buy another car. I like the idea of someone being my driver. There's no stress on my part. I think about the money that I save; I don't have to fill in for gas, no car insurance, maintenance ... what a luxury.

I am nervous before the taxi arrives. I've been suffering panic attacks since the accident. Usually I do 30 minutes of stretches a day before I leave the house. It's good for my back, and I'm getting in shape. I need to take several deep breathes ... I thought about having a few stif drinks to relax me, but I haven't had a hard drink in years. I've seen too many friends and family members waste their lives in pubs. I don't want to me addicted to the 'devil's urine'.

This is the routine that I go through before I leave the house; I fumble for my keys as I close the door. I close my eyes as I head toward the sidewalk. I feel dizzy ... kneeling on the sidewalk the pain in my ears are intense as I hear the sounds of traffic and loud car stereos.

The sound from my heart overpowers any external sound I hear. Suddenly, in the distance I can see the taxi, my panic attack fades away as the yellow vehicle filled with the smell of stale cigarettes and day old donuts fill the air.

I climb in, close my eyes and relax.

At first it bothered me that the taxi driver had the radio on full blast. Inane music, commericals and talk radio. The sound of silence is hell compared to the sound of the rumbling stereo.

But why do I care? I have nothing to worry about, besides the taxi driver trying to take the long route to my destination.