DISTRESSED - 12/28/07

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A Quiet Christmas

The mad rush of Christmas shoppers over the weekend did send me over the edge. But rather than take it out on the public I made a video about it. If someone is honking and tailgating I don't get frustrated, I make a video.

I have to admit that I feel much better even though the video is strange. But it's a good outlet for my anger and frustration.

If angry people spent time writing about their problems, whether that be a blog, video or a diary the world would be a much better place.

I've been reading books about dealing with anger - especially when driving. There are some breathing exercises that help you deal with it. I'll share it with you as soon as I'm done reading the book.

I had a quiet Christmas with Keren and a group of small friends. Made a phone call back home and chatted with the family and friends. I don't miss the cold weather! Although it is a bit cold in the warehouse I usually spend time in the smallest room in the building. I don't have a heater for the building, but then again I don't have huge heating bills.

- Jack - 12/28/07

12/23 AGAIN

23 is around the corner. 12/23/05 that is. The second anniversary. I'm not any closer to finding out the truth. It bothers and upsets me. The police have been working on the case but they can find no clues. Keren and I are planning on keeping busy for the day. Maybe go to a museum, anything to keep my mind from the fact that it's been 2 years.

Am I losing hope? No. I need to find the truth.

I will uncover the truth.

ASYLUM DISTRESSED - 12/21/07

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DETECT AND SURVEY - DECEMBER 13 2007

I've decided to take over Roy's '23' page since he's not available. It's difficult keeping track of where the accidents took place along with the dates and facts. It's going to be a large data base to maintain. I'm also going to access the microfilm at the local library to see if there's a record of past accidents. There's days when I think that the accident is a game. I feel that someone is playing an elaborate hoax. Albeit a mischievous prank. Hopefully with help from the private investigator I will be able to solve the case. I've received emails about the use of the brainwave recordings. In order to experience the full effect of the recordings the user must use headphones. Playing the recordings on a speaker will render the brainwaves useless. I would not recommend listening to the brainwave recordings without supervision.

As I stated earlier I have abandoned listening to the brainwave recordings as it is detrimental to your health.



INTERROGATOR - 12/13/07

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PSYCHIC SEANCE - 12/5/07

I am going to stay away from listening to brainwave recordings. I have opened my third mind. It is not pleasant. Listening to the recordings I have opened the gateway to hell. Strange sensations overcame my body. It felt like someone was rubbing my back. In other instances it felt as though someone was pouring cold water on my back.

I didn't think that something like this could exist but I was wrong. I shouldn't have listened to the recordings.

I don't want to go into it in further detail. I may later but I am in the process of destroying the recordings.

Jack

INNER PSYCHE CONFLICT - 12/7/07

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THE UN NORMAL PARANORMAL - 11/30/07

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ENTOMBED

I visited Keren on Thanksgiving. I have a lot to be thankful for. I have a small group of friends. I have my health and I live faraway from Civilization. (More like 20 minutes).

I avoided the day after Thanksgiving rush by staying home for the entire weekend. I sorted through my trash. It's amazing how much trash one can accumulate.

What was I thinking when I filled out that free subscription to a magazine that I didn't want? Why do I have duplicates of magazines? In some cases I have 2 or more copies of the same book.

I donated another carton of duplicate books to the local library.

I wish that I could take a back hoe and dump all my possessions in a dumpster.

Do I really need things that I haven't seen for years?

I am planning on becoming a mummy and surrounding myself in a tomb? Actually that doesn't sound like a bad idea.

RESEARCH: TREPANNING + BRAINWAVES

THIRD EYE OPENING - 11/23/07

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I've been listening to brain wave recordings recently to hopefully 'open my mind' to the events leading up to the accident. I feel that by opening my mind I will be able to put some closure to what happened. I don't want to bore you with all of the research that I have been conducting but it is interesting to say the least.

I don't anyone who has done trepanning. It's not something that I would personally do but it does fascinate me.

I'm keeping this blog short as I've had a busy week. I will let you know more when the information is readily available.

Thank You

Jack

TEMPTATION - 11/16/07

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Under the Weather

I spent the last week out of town. I spent time out of town in the past but heading up to Northern California was fun. Even though I was supposed to spent time with Roy.

I headed back into town late last week. I'm feeling sad, not sad like I'm feeling sorry for myself, but ... I don't know sad that I spent quality time with my friend and his family in San Francisco. I'm not a city person, funny when I think about it. I grew up in London, lived for several of my adult years in the East End of London and I still don't feel comfortable there. It was really nice to be at my friend's house, away from the news and TV. We had no idea that the oil tanker hit the base of the Bay Bridge, I didn't know it until my friend saw a newspaper at a liquor store.

I have pleasant memories of San Francisco, I had relatives who lived there and I would visit them as a child in the 1970's. I feel nostalgic whenever I go back. I wish Keren was there but she had work.

The weather reminded me of London, cold and crisp. Actually London is much colder in the fall but nonetheless it brought back memories.

The 4 days I spent up north was good for me, it cleared my head, even though I spent all of Tuesday in bed with the flu! I thought it was food poisoning from some tourist trap in Fisherman's wharf. I should have known better. What was I thinking? It used to be fun to go there as kids, but it's lost it's appeal. Stupid!

There are excellent restaurants where my friend lives in the North Beach section of town. Dunno about all the adult strip clubs though, lot's of stragglers from the suburbs looking for a 'good time' in the city - idiots. Most of them are complete wankers, pissed and yelling all the time. Why do people yell when they have a good time? Or a supposed good time?

I forgot about the hills in S.F. how could I? It must be from the concussion from the accident, maybe me memory isn't as good as it once was. I joked to my friend that one needs a 4 Wheel drive with extra big tyres to drive up and down the hills, but then again he was driving a compact car with a 5 speed transmission! Not for the faint of heart!

I've been sitting in the house under the weather, I'm still recuperating from the '24 hour flu'. I also hit my head on the minivan when I got back. I'm concerned that there may be some swelling. I guess once you hit the age of 40+ one constantly worries about your health. At least I caught up with the drudgery of housework. But I'm still under the weather.

I know the grass is always greener somewhere else but I'm beginning to think that I need to visit Northern California more often, but next time I'm taking the train where I can relax, sleep and read a good book.

Speaking of good reading materials, I've been reading the latest issue of 'The Believer' - the Nov. issue? with an interesting article on Jean Tinguely. If you haven't heard of him do a google, yahoo etc. search very interesting artist. He's the forerunner of modern machine art, sort of like Mark Pauline's Survival Research Laboratories.

I also want to see 'THE IMAGINARY 20TH CENTURY'. So many things to do ...

Enough writing I'm going to bed. It's early and I'm feeling tired.

CLOCKED OUT - 11/9/07

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Temptation

Driving on the way to Northern California to visit Roy I noticed that drivers have become more aggressive since my last visit 3 years ago. The right lane is the slow lane, then why are drivers tailgating me? I tried to remain calm, but after the 15th psychotic driver attempted to push me off the road I could stand it no more. I flipped on the hazard lights and tugged at the steering wheel so it looked like the car was out of control. I looked back in the rear view mirror to see that the driver pulled back considerably.

I'm not proud of what I've done but drivers have no consideration for the safety of others. There is always the temptation to get revenge, I tried to remain calm the best I could. What I did may not have been civil but it was the only thing I could do to save my sanity and my life.

This will probably be the last road trip that I take for awhile. The roads have become to dangerous.

Buried Alive

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TITLES

I don't like the title 3 Days Dead. I only used it because it was the only headline I could think where people would sit up and notice my plight. The original title was the dates that I was missing; 12-23-05 - 12-26-05. It's been almost 2 years, I'm still not any closer. I'm afraid any evidence from the accident has disappeared as the recent fire has devastated most of the area.

I'm just a person who is trying to find out the truth behind his accident. I've been followed, stalked, people that I met on the internet have been helpful, but unfortunately Roy (don't know his last name) was abducted. I hope it's not because of his involvement with my investigation or if he's making the entire thing up (one always has to be careful these days).

It seems like everything these days must be 'branded' am in danger of being 'branded'? I hope not. This is one of the reasons why my face and voice and almost everyone else who appears in the videos have been altered. I value my privacy and those around me. Not that it's made much of a difference people found out where I live. I moved in fear of my safety.

But in a positive light I am happy with my new surroundings. No neighbors to deal with even though I live in a secluded area of the city. I have lots of room and the building is secure. Friends such as Keren and Anne visit. From time to time I have other friends who I speak to on the phone and email. I don't need constant companionship. Who wants to talk all the time? I have other things to keep me occupied.

I have been reading 'Car Crash Culture' by Mikita Brottman recently. Fascinating but somewhat depressing book. Good research material.

NIGHT-PROWLER

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NIGHT-PROWLER

I was out the other night walking Keren's dog. She's out of town for a few days. he's a nice dog, very well behaved and very protective of those around him.

I'm trying to stay in as much as possible due to the terrible air quality from all the fires in Southern California. But the poor dog needs to get out. I thought about putting a mask in front of the dog's nose and mouth so he wouldn't have to breathe in the soot.

I noticed that a car was following me. The dog, I mean 'Jack' Keren's dog - a Jack Russell terrier noticed before I did and alerted me to the fact.

At first I thought the driver was lost, but I couldn't tell since the windows were blacked out. The car followed us for a good 5 minutes. I tried to take a photo of the license plate but there wasn't enough light.

It could be someone playing a prank. I don't live in the neighborhood, it is close my old house but a part of me is still nervous about Roy's abduction. Whoever was responsible for Roy's disappearance could be after me.

I guess I'm always on guard. I have to keep one eye open at all times.

Thanks 'Jack' for the loud bark. I wouldn't know what to do without you.

SUBHUMAN - 10/18/07

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PUNISHED - 10/18/07

I had mixed feelings about Roy until now. If you watch the video you'll know what I mean.

I don't know how the person or organization that's responsible for the video knew the address my P.O. Box. I'm very uneasy about it.

I'm constantly looking over my shoulder to see if anyone is following me. It's left me feeling uneasy. Maybe I'm being overly cautious but I'd rather be prepared than ending up like Roy.

I've examined the video several times. I'm still shocked.

I haven't heard from Roy for several months. So I was understandably shocked when I received the tape.

I hope Roy was able to escape wherever he is.

BLOG THERAPIST - 10/12/07

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BLOG THERAPIST - 10/12/07

Therapy through blogging.

Keren more than anyone has been my 'therapist' though she hates the title. When I'm aching and tired she gives me confidence to spread the story about the car accident.

There's days when I feel that I'm wasting my time, I'll walk to the office to find Keren conducting research.

She works full time, but she still has time to help me with research.

Thank You Keren. I appreciate it.

Jack

Rolled, Wrecked and Destroyed

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Rolled, Wrecked and Destroyed

I wrecked the Range Rover. What can I say? I was foolish to think that I would be able to find the answers behind my accident while attempting in vain to recreate the car accident.

I would have been easier if I could re-trace my steps before the accident took place but I thought? That the answer would appear before the Rover crashed off the road.

This is a lesson in futility. I still haven't told Keren what happened. But she's going to find out after she reads this.

Hopefully by this time I'll be on a bus!

I have no money to buy another car. I have the barely running 1978 Cadillac sitting in the corner of the garage, but it's not a dependable vehicle.

I take that back I have a very small amount of money to buy a 15 year old vehicle. I guess it's time to look for another Volvo.

ACCIDENT RE/CREATION - 9/28/07

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ACCIDENT RE/CREATION - 9/28/07

I have been obsessed with recreating the accident. For the past few days I've been driving along the road where the accident took place. Same time, similar weather conditions, same speed of travel. I don't know what I'm looking for. I don't know what the police will think.

If I really want to re-create the accident I should buy the same car that I got into the accident with. I don't have that kind of money. But maybe if I can find a similar car that's wrecked ... I don't know what I'm talking about.

SUSPICION - 9/21/07

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SUSPICION - 9/21/07

For some reason when 9:23 PM arrives I find myself in the car driving around aimlessly looking for something. An answer that will never come. I drove through the industrial wastelands of Southern California. How can he afford the gas? I can't, but it's cheaper than therapy (and a lot more relaxing).

An old diesel Cadillac was hidden in the corner of the building that I purchased. I paid the DMV fees that weren't paid in eighteen years, filled the tank with diesel fuel and drove around the wastelands looking for accidents.

I came across a wrecked car with the number 23. I wrote the address down so I could find it during the day. After a couple of hours I was lost (no navigational device in the 30 year old car). I came across an odd site. A smashed up car driving around in circles running into things in an empty lot. In the distance a wrecked car stood still at the side of the road.

I taped the proceedings when the driver of the car spotted me. He tightly held a weapon in his hands. I had no interest to see what it was. I put the car in reverse and drove off as fast as I could.

DEADLY ROADS TRAVELED - 9/14/07

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Travelogue - 9/14/07

Away for a week. Not really a vacation but research. I wish I could travel with a small bag with nothing else. Take off for 6 months off and travel cities less traveled.

Our 'vacation' - Keren and I, consists of traveling to the places where the victims reported where their accidents took place. We're compiling accidents within the Western United States. Obviously there are accidents in other places but that would take a rather large amount of time and money. It's a luxury that we can ill afford.

But it has been nice to get away from town even though it's research.

TORMENTED - 9/7/07

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TORMENTED - 9/7/07

An interesting video from a viewer. I'm not going to say what is on the video but it did catch my attention.

It was a hot week. I stayed indoors as much as I could. I'm running the swamp coolers via my solar panels. Nice and cold. But when I was outdoors ... that was a different story.

CONFLICT - 8/31/07

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CONFLICT - 8/31/07

Peter was involved in a strange car accident. People around him don't believe him.

I know exactly how he feels. It's been really hot the past couple of days. I don't have anything new to report. Trying to stay cool under my 2nd hand army surplus swamp coolers.

- Jack

CHOKING ROOM - 8/24/07

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I've been busy with work, but it doesn't deter me from the accident investigation, although it has slipped my mind on occasion. The physical scars are long gone, but the psychological scars ...

INVISIBLE CHOKER - 9/17/07

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NVISIBLE CHOKER - 9/17/07

Something is choking me in the middle of the night. I can't see it. I don't know if it's real or not.

Choking psychic attack weird UFO abduction

My emotions are choking. I feel that I do not belong in this world. Which is strange considering that I've been having a strange choking sensation in the middle of the night.

I don't know if it has anything to do with my current state of mind. I'm not depressed just angry. Angry that I'm not getting anywhere with the accident investigation. I've been driving, walking, but everywhere I go I feel that I'm out of step. What's wrong with me? Am I to blame?

I should go on a vacation, but I can't afford it. I should save my money especially in light with what's going on with the economy. I'm glad I sold my home when I did.

Now if I could only shake off this choking sensation. It's irritating me.

Dangerous Roads - 8/10/07

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Dangerous Roads - 8/10/07

Richard, the paranormal videographer has sent me another video. It's interesting, I don't know what his agenda is but if we can help one another that would be nice.

I ended up visiting the doctor, my head was throbbing. I waited in Urgent Care for 4 hours, I wasn't upset, I just wanted the pain to go away so beggars can't be choosy. The nurse called me in, I was glad, but then another nurse said that there were only 2 doctors on staff and that there were 2 patients ahead of me. So I sat in the waiting room for another hour and a 1/2. The nurse called me in, the doctor examined me and said that I had an ear infection, gave me a prescription and I was on my way.

I felt sorry for the doctor, she didn't have time for lunch. Just a bag of chips.

I think she had more of a headache than I did.

WRECKED - 8/3/07

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WRECKED - 8/3/07

I have Temporo-Mandibular Joint disorder. I've been in pain for the past 5 days. My jaws and ear felt strange. I didn't know the symptoms until I did some research. My ears were under pressure, similar to the feeling one has while sitting in an airplane. But worse of all was the constant throbbing at the base of my neck. I don't like to take medication, but I had a bottle of aspirin with me at all times. But unfortunately that did not help.

I'm beginning to wonder if the TMJ is from the car accident. If it doesn't approve I will seek alternative forms of medicine. Maybe an acupuncturist. Does anyone have any tips?

Thank You

Jack

WRECKED - 8/3/07

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WRECKED - 8/3/07

I have Temporo-Mandibular Joint disorder. I've been in pain for the past 5 days. My jaws and ear felt strange. I didn't know the symptoms until I did some research. My ears were under pressure, similar to the feeling one has while sitting in an airplane. But worse of all was the constant throbbing at the base of my neck. I don't like to take medication, but I had a bottle of aspirin with me at all times. But unfortunately that did not help.

I'm beginning to wonder if the TMJ is from the car accident. If it doesn't approve I will seek alternative forms of medicine. Maybe an acupuncturist. Does anyone have any tips?

Thank You

Jack

SLEEP WILL COME - 7/27/07

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SLEEP WILL COME - 7/27/07

I haven't slept for days. I've been researching similar accidents worldwide. Funnily enough I don't feel tired but my body knows that sleep will come eventually.

Note: I went to sleep for 2 days straight. When I woke up I recorded the 2nd part of the video to film what I felt like after being up for 4 days nonstop. The soundtrack is from an old video art exhibit.

Jack

FRAGMENTED - 7/20/07

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FRAGMENTED - 7/20/07

Is this is side effect from my concussion? I visited the accident with Keren weeks ago. I didn't realize this until after I videotaped myself. Is this a case of deja vu? What was I thinking?

! - 7/13/07

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! - 7/13/07

WARNING

I received this video in the P.O. Box the other day. How did the sender know the address of my P.O. Box?

Is this person behind the accident? it can't be a prank because I'm in the video. Although I have no knowledge of it.

I don't know how much longer I'll be able to post videos, I want no harm to come to my friends and loved ones. Especially Keren.

RESISTANCE - 7/6/07

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RESISTANCE - 7/6/07

I don't understand what this video is about. The viewer claims to be a police detective of some kind, so why can't he find out what happened to him? Why make a video about it? Is he some nutter? Or is he looking for his 15 seconds of fame? His last video convinced me that he was real, but I don't know what to make of his situation.

Then again you viewers probably think the same thing about me.

How depressing.

Jack - 7/2/07

'METAL BOX' - 6/29/07

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'METAL BOX' - 6/29/07

I'm tired of receiving emails from people who are angry that I'm driving an SUV. First of all I feel safe driving in my Range Rover. I'm always paranoid that someone is going to plow into my vehicle.

I don't feel safe driving a small car. I don't drive fast around curves. An SUV is a truck not a sports car.

I like the feeling of sitting high in the vehicle, I'm not a fast driver, but I am careful.

I don't talk on my cell phone while I drive and I am respectful of other drivers. So I'm not a 'Self-centered SUV driving idiot.

When I was living in the U.K. I owned several Land Rover 109's and Land Rover Defender 110's, so I am very familiar with the vehicle I also restored many 109's as a hobby. The Rover 109 had no creature comforts, it was a real truck. Unfortunately it's very expensive to obtain one of them in the states, plus they're not meant for everyday freeway driving.

I get enough grief from Keren who states how much she hates my car. Maybe I should have bought a Diesel vehicle and converted it over to Bio-Diesel.

Why should I feel bad? After all I need to feel safe. I only drive when I have to , I walk whenever I can.

Another viewer, another video. This one claims to have been in an accident on 10/23/04. Is this real or another nut job? I guess the title explains it all.

We'll see.

?DOUBTS? 6/15/07

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?DOUBTS? 6/15/07

This is Keren. Jack is under the weather. This is the first time that I've blogged on Jack's site. Although I'm not new to maintaining and uploading videos for him. I really don't know what to write ... everything you need to read is in the vblog. I really appreciate all the emails of support for Jack. Hopefully in a few days he'll be feeling better, but in the meantime there's so much work to do.

Keren

UNDER MY SKIN - 6/8/07

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UNDER MY SKIN - 6/8/07

It's hard to exist on a daily basis. Whenever I'm driving I suffer from anxiety attacks. It's the same whenever I'm in public.

People are greedy. They care only for themselves.

I'm fed up with the world. It's become an ugly place. It's sad to say that I can't find beauty in nature. It has ceased to exist for me.

I have no faith in mankind. Civilization will come to an end. I just hope that I won't witness it.

Crawl under with me

OVERLOADED - 6/1/07

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OVERLOADED - 6/1/07

Another video by Roy. His video is strange. I find it unnerving. Jolting to the senses. I don't know what he's trying to accomplish.

Disturbing.

SUICIDE AT BEACHY HEAD - 5/25/07

Richard - The Paranormal Videographer sent me another video.

Apparently there was a suicide. Someone drove their car off Beachy Head on the south coast of England in East Sussex. It's roughly 500 ft above sea level, it's also the U.K.'s premier place to commit suicide.

According to Richard it wasn't a suicide but an accident with a certain number 23. Sound familiar?

Where's Roy when you need him?

RE/MOVED - 5/18/07

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RE/MOVED - 5/18/07

Keren's friend is a good realtor indeed. Absolutely fantastic! She sold my home in 5 days! The buyer was approved, we had a short escrow.

I bought an old manufacturing plant, very secure. It's 12,000 sq. feet, security cameras surround the premise. It feels like a bomb shelter. My room is deep in the recess of the cavernous factory.

I'm not going to blog about the moving van, you can see the vlog. But I'm still mad. I felt like having a pint that night, but I'm not one to get pissed.

I have lot's of room. I can make all the noise I want without upsetting the neighbors. Well, there are no neighbors per say.

I have lots of room for the Mini-Cooper truck, my Range Rover and a 4,000 sq. foot library! I'm also moving my media room/library into another large room.

The only thing I'm concerned about is heating my room. But I paid next to nothing for the building so I really can't complain about it.

Dust is everywhere. I'm allergic to dust, it's in my throat. The dust gives me a dry throat.

Keren loves the new dwelling. She wants to move into one of the 2,000 sq. foot rooms. I'll see about that. But it might be nice to have a room mate. Keren is lovely. But I do need my privacy.

I'll be unpacking for the next year. If I'm lucky I'll have everything done in a month.

SCENE OF THE ACCIDENT - 5/13/07

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Scene of the accident

Keren convinced me to go ... I haven't been to the site since the accident ... I couldn't sleep, I was restless and nervous. Sod it I thought, let's get it over with.

I don't remember a thing from the accident, everything looks different during the day. At night the area is dark, lot's of winding roads. Keren took a look at the police report and told me where to turn off.

I parked the car and took a walk to the scene of the accident. Strange, it seems serene, but Trabuco Canyon Rd. is anything but peaceful. Within a few yards there is a memorial to someone who passed away - car accident. A couple of miles away another memorial. Just thinking about it sends shivers down my spine.

Dry brush litters the landscape, it's possible for someone to crash his/her car and not be noticed for months. There are dozens of cars that litter the bottom of the canyon.

It was hard to pinpoint where the car crashed, tire marks are non-existant due to rain and the growth of dry brush.

I was fearing this day for months, but thanks to Keren I overcame my nightmares, but I'm still not any closer to finding out what the cause of the accident is.

'CATATONIC' - 5/6/07

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'CATATONIC' - 5/6/07

I received another video from the doctor at the
Stuttgart-Stammheim Prison in Germany.

The Patient was in a car crash 6 months ago with
injuries similar to my accident; recent surgical scars,
loss of time, bright lights blinding him, etc.

A copy of the 23 photograph was found at the scene of the accident.

This is the second car crash patient residing in the Stuttgart-Stammheim Prison.

I hope the doctor will be able to find out what really happened.

' PARAMNESIA' - 4/29/07

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PARAMNESIA - 4/29/07

Keren and I spent the weekend relaxing. I've been under a lot of stress lately, so we decided to go to the beach. As usual I brought the video camera with me. It's my 'security blanket' I guess.

On the way to the beach I saw a man speaking to a reporter, his associates stood behind him. It looks like they just left a business meeting. There are several large buildings near the beach. I don't know who the man is, but I feel that I've seen him before, so I kept the camera in my 'surveillance camera bag'.

I should have approached him, but I didn't know what to say, when I did have the courage the reporter left as did the man into a waiting SUV.

I'm hoping that the interview surfaces on tv or the internet.

I'm certain that I met him somewhere in the past. It's beginning to bother me.

I've seen this man before, but I don't know where or when.

Is this a case of deja-vu, or am I dreaming?

AGITATION - 4/22/07

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AGITATION

I've been in a restless mood. I stared at the camera with absolutely nothing to say. I've been looking at the car crash surveillance tape over and over. I don't know ... I guess I'm looking for new clues ...

Keren's been helping me look for a place. Her friend is a realtor who explained to me that the housing market has slowed down significantly during the past few months. At least she's honest. Yes, I'm going to move. I'm looking around at different places in the area, I like the city where I live, but I definitely need a secure place, a bunker would be more like it.

I like my neighborhood, it's a great place to live, there's small mom and pop stores and cafes, a local record shop, video stores ... it's a nice place, so if I can find a place that has a security gate i.e. underground parking, security guard, that would be great.

If I can make some money off the sale of my home then I can afford something small. I need room for my camera equipment and books.

I should move into a warehouse if it was legal. If there was a warehouse that was for sale ... but I can only imagine what kind of area it must be in ... pollution, fumes from nearby factories ... crime.

Business has been picking up, especially now that I can drive. But I try to avoid the freeway at all cost. I have to take it a step at a time.

Keren is still upset that I bought the Range Rover, but I do feel safe in it. Whenever we have to drive anywhere we take her car.

A reader asked me how I retrieved my tape back from Keren. Well ... it wasn't easy, but Keren is a kind person. After 5 minutes she cooled down and picked me up. The tape was still rolling ... but we didn't talk for the drive back (20 minutes).

I would never hurt Keren's feelings. She's been so helpful and I appreciate everything that she's done for me. I can't express how much I depend on her.

Hopefully everything will work out. I'm listing my house at a reasonable price. I'm not asking an arm and a leg for it. I'm a realistic person. But I'm definitely not looking forward to moving!

The last time I moved was 7 years ago and that was from London! I was exhausted for months!

Jack

SET ABLAZE - 4/15/07

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SET ABLAZE!

This image was recorded on my surveillance cameras. I was shocked to find out that a car thief picked my driveway to abandon the stolen car. I was equally disturbed to find him hacking the car with an ax, then setting it ablaze! The car thief then smashed the surveillance camera with his fists.

The part that disturbs me the most is when the police handed me a photo of the 23 image. They have no clues, but they are working on it.

I've had enough. I want to move. I'm going to see a realtor and put my house on the market, but considering how homes are no longer selling like they once were, I'm worried. But I need to move. I don't know how these people are finding out where I live, but I need to find somewhere safe as soon as possible.

She Hates My Car - 4/8/07

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'Buying Power'

I bought a new SUV today ... a Supercharged 2007 Range Rover.

It's powered by a 400-hp 4.2 litre Supercharged V8. It's built like a tank.

I told Keren I didn't want to be driving around in a small car ... I don't feel safe.

I have to admit I felt a bit guilty about driving a gas guzzling truck that only gets 13 miles per gallon, but it makes me feel confident when I'm behind the wheel. Safety is a priority with me. I can live with the high gas bills.

So please don't send me any death threats you eco terrorists.

The truck is so high I can see the top of Mount Everest from where I'm sitting.

If anyone hits me they're dead.

It's an amazing piece of machinery.

I plan to visit the accident site soon. I don't know how I'm going to feel when I get there.

It's been on my mind constantly. I guess it's something I have to deal with.

Patient O.T. - 3/30/07

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PATIENT O.T
CELL BLOCK 'Y'

Justizvollzugsanstalt Stuttgart-Stammheim

A very strange video. I believe that this is real.

The doctor (prison Psychiatrist) sent me a very detailed email. Apparently Patient 'O.T.' spent time in an asylum after the accident. Before the accident he led a normal life as an economics student.

Excerpt from the email:

'The Patient was missing for 3 days. This was confirmed by his family and the authorities. A missing person's report was filed. Patient O.T. regained consciousness a week later. His injuries were shockingly similar to yours. Recent surgery in the past 72 hours. Body injuries unrelated to the accident. A photo of the number 23 found at the accident site'.

'A few months after the accident, the Patient had delusions that he was a member of the Red Faction Army (RFA). He was convinced that the (Deutschland) 'right wing' Government was behind the accident. Patient O.T. suffering from paranoia and schizophrenia, attacked several Psychiatrists. After the Patient escaped, he set off several homemade bombs at the offices of mental health groups'.

The email totals 7 pages. I will post the rest of the letter in the future.


Jack

Discipline - 3/23/07

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BLOGGING AS THERAPY?

While I was recuperating in the hospital I read an article from a therapist who claimed that blogging is good for people who are in 'times of crisis'. It's the ultimate diary, albeit it's also read by thousands of people.

Has blogging helped me at all? In certain ways yes. I've been corresponding with intelligent and caring people. i.e. Keren, also, hello to Ratopia, Earlywyrm, Alien, etc.

As far as Roy and Richard (The Paranormal Videographer) goes. I'm still on the fence.

There are people who have been accusing me as someone who is 'Seeking attention'. If I were, then why would I filter my face and voice? If I were the type of person who wanted to 'be in the public eye', I would plaster my unfiltered face and unaltered voice all over the internet!

Blogging is a strange experience!

The Paranormal Videographer - 3/16/07

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'The Paranormal Videographer'

Another video from a reader. Is he a complete nutter? For a 'professional' videographer the audio is horrible. Tons of audio drop outs. But there are few things which he said which intrigues me. Mainly his car accident in Germany. The sighting of the number 23.

Keren and I saw 'The Number 23' in the theatre last week. What a joke, utterly horrible, absolute rubbish. Bollocks I say. The filmmakers said nothing about William S. Burroughs, who really noticed the 23rd Enigma. Just another stupid and wasteful Hollywood piece of cardboard cut out trash. I did get a good nap though. But not at the expense of $10.00 per ticket!

Back to Richard (the Paranormal Videographer) I appreciate that you sent me the video, but I hope you will be able to tell something which is relevant to the accident.

I hope this isn't a trend where I'm going to be receiving dozens of videos a week.

Fix your audio mate!

Jack

DEATH THREAT STALKER

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Death threat stalker

Who is this person? What do they want?

Before the accident I hid surveillance cameras around my neighborhood. I did it as an ethnographic film experiment. I wanted to treat the film as an ongoing 'hidden security camera' project. My ultimate goal was to have other ethnographic filmmakers around the world hide hidden surveillance cameras where they live and have a web page where the entire world can be seen at once.

Every event, every and anything that takes place can be recorded for eternity.

It was just an idea.

But what confuses me is how the person in the video knew what neighborhood I live in. And how this person knew where I hid the camera. Is this person behind the accident?

I need to know.

Friendly Fire? 2/26/07

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FRIENDLY FIRE?

Is Roy the enemy or a confidant? I don't know. My mind is confused.

Sorry ... Webisode 34

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I've received dozens of emails telling me how cruel and insensitive I've been to Keren on Valentine's Day. Yes, I agree. I have been very selfish and angry towards her. She's been very helpful and look how I treated her.

Being the ill mannered boor I am, I realized the errors of my way and I brought a box of chocolates and a bouquet of flowers. I took her to a nice intimate cafe for dinner.

Keren has been the light in my months of darkness. I'm very happy that she's in my life. Thanks to Keren I've slowly been able to get behind the wheel of a car. I'm taking it step by step, but with her help I'm confident that I'll be able to drive by myself soon.

Thank you Keren and thank you to the reader of the blog.

- Jack

MAN + A WOMAN ARGUE ON VALENTINE'S DAY

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FEB. 14TH VALENTINE'S DAY.

What I did on the most romantic day of the year:

Keren took me out for a drive in her car, early this morning. Very early - 5 am. She forced me to drive. The last time I was behind the wheel was on the night of Dec. 23 2005.

It was good that we went driving very early in the morning. Less nutters on the road.

Needless to say I was very nervous. We argued.

I was nervous driving, sort of like riding a bike for the first time. I was awful behind the wheel and to Keren as well.

Well, I grumbled and moaned. Keren was a trooper.

I forgot it was Valentine's Day until Keren dropped me off. I didn't say anything. She looked sad and sped off.

I looked at the newspaper and read the date.

I have to buy Keren flowers and a box of chocolates.

I'm a true romantic.

What kind of car should I buy?

If I'm able to drive that is. It's been well over a year since I've been behind the wheel of a motor vehicle. Will I be able to stand the masses of morons who drive the pavement on a daily basis? I guess the real test will begin.

What sort of car should I buy?

Do I BUY A CAR THAT'S:

Comfortable?
Safe?
Good on petrol?
Fast?
Stylish?
Sporty?
Sexy?
Reliable?

Do I buy a:

Compact?
Saloon?
Mini-Van? (gasp)
Sports Car?
Pick-Up Truck
SUV (hiss)
Hybrid? (hmmm)

So many choices.

Please help me make a decision.

Thank You.

Jack

WHO I TRUST?



I trust:

My family

Keren


WHO I DON'T TRUST:

Whoever was responsible for my accident.

Roy

People I don't like

The Stress of Driving - Webisode 30

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I hate driving and drivers.

I have a dual citizenship. My parents were on vacation (both U.K. natives) visiting some relatives who had just recently moved here (Southern California - 1966) when I was born.

I moved to the U.K. when I was a month old. I visited the states several times growing up visiting relatives. Traffic from what I can remember was non-existant, my family would look forward to driving on the freeway any day of the week just for fun.

Fast forward 30 + years. Traffic is horrendous. I can't stand driving, I haven't been behind the wheel since the accident. There's overpopulation in California, developers are too greedy and there's too many people driving big SUV's, which I can't stand.

Where do I go? My world is small. Anywhere I can walk or take a taxi - strict budget. Which leaves me to my local corner market and bookstore. That's it.

I'm nervous because Keren is going to take me driving today. I've never been behind the wheel with her. Will she be driving too fast? Is she the type who speaks on her cell phone while she drives? Does she not pay attention? Or is she a slow driver who insists on staying in the fast lane?

I guess there's only one way to find out.

Please let her be a good driver.

Jack

Esoteric

12,000 books. They're taking up space in my guest bedroom. It's out of control. Help!

I was aimlessly wandering around my garage for an answer about the infinite possibilities one might encounter searching for free entertainment on the internet. Then by chance? A book mysteriously fell into my obscene hands.

'Against Method' by Paul Feyerabend, who defended the idea that there are no methodological rules which are used by scientists. Feyerabend viewed that science would benefit from a 'dose' of theoretical anarchism.

Feyerabend was also critical of falsificationism. He argued that no interesting theory is ever consistent with all the relevant facts.

Why am I telling you this? Perhaps it's the change of weather (the 'apocalypse' is really the greenhouse effect), I used to hate warm weather and the sun (being the cheery Londoner that I am!) Perhaps I'm getting older (I am) but I do like the warm weather and the sun!
Searching for a place of recluse in my garage, which has always been my favourite place of the home. I imagined that this will be my place for free and clear thoughts.

I have been engrossed in 'Against Method' I don't recall 'obtaining' the book. It has not been cataloged by me. There is no receipt.

I am confused. I ponder questions like this on a seemingly increasing daily basis.
Was the book placed in my hands by accident? How did it fall into my hands? There were no boxes which were open. Everything is enclosed in a Rubbermaid sealed container. Thanks Rubbermaid!
I think it is a sign of things to come.
One as myself needs to experience more theory on a daily basis. I also need to assimilate myself in the warmth of the sun, without getting overexposed in the seemingly crowded path of human obsolescence.
Sorry for rambling on. I really miss the sun today.
I need warmth.
Conspiracy theorists unite.
Jack.

Meeting Keren




It's been a strange year. I was apprehensive meeting Keren, but I have nothing to lose. She see's my face, I don't care. I've lost my privacy. I can't hide forever, if she's going to help me I have to trust her. I need to trust other people. This is the first step back into the world.

We met in the park. It was a surprising meeting. This is going to be a good year. I'm going to find the answers that I'm looking for.

Jack