Road Rage

BEWARE + SUSPECT - 1/25/08

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I was driving on the freeway over the weekend. The assorted nutters were on the road driving like maniacs when suddenly two vehicles were having a go at it. A sedan and a truck weaving in and out of traffic with absolutely no regard of the other drivers! What is this world coming to?

I saw myself as the angry drivers. I can completely understand why Keren was so upset at me. She's slowly talking to me but she can't open up completely. I can't say that I blame her.

It's gotten to the point where I don't want to drive anymore. It really disturbs me.

Jack - 1/25/08

UNDER DIFFICULT CIRCUMSTANCES

CALM, BREATHING - 1/18/08

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Daily living is a struggle. Traffic, stress, work, the economy. I should be grateful that I'm doing well, except for my issues of anger management. I've been taking yoga and it has done wonders (see the video). I don't know why I used to scoff at it, but it is relaxing and it does wonders for the body and the mind. I guess I must have been a close minded westerner. And because I see it everywhere here in Southern California. Now I know why people love it.

I don't like the person that I've become. I have no excuse for my issues of road rage. I will become a better person. It's a new year. I can't feel sorry for myself.

Jack - 1/18/08

NAKED & BROKEN - 1/11/08

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COMPENDIUM 001

These are the materials that I've been reading / researching lately. Reference library:

1. Trepanning

Perhaps I need a hole in my head after dealing with Keren.

http://joern.free.de/luck_hole.html

http://amasci.com/hole.html

http://www.ambient.ca/bodmod/hole.html
I'm interested in Trepanation to improve my well being and psyche. Maybe it will help me remember the accident? Or if Keren yells at me I can blame it on the hole in my head.
RE/Search Publications - San Francisco. I've been a fan of their books for quite some time. If you are a fan of the esoteric examine their site:
http://www.researchpubs.com/Blog/index.php
Readers have been asking me what Visual Anthropology is.
http://www.visualanthropology.net/
Reading Material:
Paul Feyerabend - 'Against Method'
JG Ballard - 'The Atrocity Exhibition' + 'Crash' (I hope some obscure cult weren't fans of the book. I shudder to think what they did to me if I were abducted by someone like them).

Composers:

Iannis Xenakis

http://home.wanadoo.nl/eli.ichie/biographyxenakis.html

I have been compiling and organizing my library recently. I thought I would share some of this information with you.

I HATE DRIVERS - 1/4/07

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EYEWITNESS? - 1/5/07

The Detective working on my case called me to say that the person who found my wrecked car agreed to speak with me. Nonetheless I am happy and relieved to find the person who found me. I also want to thank her.

The eyewitness was out of the country on business for the past 2 years. She was concerned to see how I was doing. She's back in the country, she needs a few days to get settled in and will meet me within the next week.

I know that I upset Keren with my erratic and angry driving. I do need help. I have anger inside of me. I can't control it and I realize that I need to do something about it. I've been reading books about dealing with anger. Anger is something that can't be eliminated but it can be controlled. I should have been practicing the breathing exercises. Easier said than done.

Keren has every right to be upset with me. I've been a complete and utter nutter and I shouldn't be driving when I am upset.

I stayed at home during New Years eve. Keren is still upset at me so I spent the night alone. It was probably better, but I was feeling lonely.

I should get used to it.

- Jack - January 5, 2008