Fall arrives and people are in a lousy mood
On a personal level, people who were in my life, and I emphasize 'were' are in a lousy mood. I have half a handful of 'associates', really just a small, very small amount of 'humans' who call me 'their friend' who have been constantly pouring all of their problems on me.
They know that I was in an accident, that I'm not in a 'stable' frame of mind when it comes to listening about the daily day to day insignificant matters of their lives.
I've asked them for help regarding the accident but they're much more interested in telling me why their lives are in the gutter. When I try to tell them about the accident they ignore me and walk away.
Not once did they visit me while I was in the hospital. Did they come to my home to see if I was ok? No. They didn't call, write ... absolutely nothing.
Complete strangers, fans of the site have been comforting me more than strangers.
It's been a huge effort for me just to leave the house. I think about all the time I spent tucked away in the confine of my room and what did I miss? Nothing. People are still greedy, selfish, arrogant creatures and I hate them for feeling like that.
This isn't some psycho-therapy session. I noticed more and more people who are acting this way.
The only thing I longed for was a female companion, but when I remembered the relationships I had in the past they all ended up like a row of dominoes, falling down into one another.
The human race is an empty vessel. I'm waiting for the day it sinks.
I'll be sure to be on dry land when it happens.
1 comment:
Just happened to see your blog sliding by on the little revolving blogspot feature, and it caught my attention. What you need is love. And I mean real love. Real love is this... the willingness to benefit you at my expense. It is the opposite of what most of the world lives in, which is I will benefit me at your expense. This sounds to me like what your associates did. When you ceased to be of use to them in some way, they abandon you.
I learned this from God. No joke. I have made it my life's ambition to know him, and this is one of the greatest things he has showed me. It is what he does. God always does what's best for you, even at his own expense. And people who know God, or are getting to know him at least, will do the same thing. Benefit you at their own personal expense. I. E., visiting you for no other reason than to just visit you, because you need love!
I have my own blogspot where I am attempting to share a lot of the things he has taught me, if you are interested in reading it. It's at www.worrrd.blogspot etc.
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