3 DAYS DEAD

I was feeling strange last night. I felt downtrodden. I was thinking about the people that I met during the last year and how they're no longer in my life. I was heartbroken. The accident seems unreal, I don't know what to think of Roy. Was he really involved in a similar accident or is he playing a game? Maybe he's behind the accident. There's so many things going through my mind.

I slept for 10 hours. I have so much work to do. Past assigments are untouched. I've been in a retrospective mood. I guess the saying 'The more things change the more they remain the same' is true. The one thing I've discovered through this journey of finding out what happened during my missing 3 days is how unreliable and flaky people can be. Humans only care about themselves no matter how much they say that they're 'always there for you'. What a load of bollocks. Where are you now? You're not there when I needed you.

Maybe it's the change in the season, or the weather. Fall used to be my favourite time of the year, but I don't know if I like the dampness and the fog. Maybe it reminds me of home. I haven't been to England for a few years, I know I should visit my mum and dad and my sister, but I can't. How can I sit in airplane when I can't even get behind the wheel of a car? I sit in the backseat of the taxi with a hood pulled over my head and a pair of dark sunglasses blocking my vision and an ipod filtering any ambient sounds from the real world.

Someone suggested that maybe I caused my own accident because I've been let down by the people in my life! I've been sad and depressed but I would never take my own life! Utterly ridiculous! More than anything I want to have the power to get out of the house and hopefully meet a woman and settle down. But that's not going to happen until I find out the cause of my accident.

I feel somewhat guilty over my response to Roy's video. I don't know what I was thinking. I can't be sure until I have evidence that he was in a similar accident, only then can I rest.

It's been almost a year since the accident. I need to get my life back together again before it's too late.

I'd like to thank the viewers of the site who have been sending me so many emails of support, especially Kathie. Thank You.

Jack